For many parents, working through the decisions that come with child custody is challenging. Not only do you have to think about the logistics of every decision, but you also have to really focus on what’s best for the children. All of this has to happen while you work with your ex. For some, the emotions that come with the end of the romantic relationship make this even harder than it would be otherwise. 

As you’re working with your ex to come up with the terms of your custody agreement, try to put the things that led to the end of the marriage aside. These reasons don’t really matter in the custody decisions unless there was abuse or something that could cause harm to the children. The custody situation must revolve around the children and their needs — not your own.

Another thing to remember is that you can’t do things just because they will make life more difficult for your ex. Think about how everything you propose will help or harm your children. Your goal should be to help them thrive despite the divorce. 

Every rule that’s proposed must be completely vetted. It’s easy for things to be misconstrued, and this can come back to haunt you later if there’s a chance that your ex could use something in the parenting plan to harm your relationship with the kids. 

When you and your ex come to agreements about custody and the children, be sure to put them into the parenting plan. There’s less of a chance that something will cause a disagreement later if it’s clearly outlined in that document. Your attorney can help you ensure that everything is properly presented. They can also help you think of the things that need to be addressed and find solutions for conflicts.